Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tough Day, Good Day

Most days I love my job, but today was a tough day.  Ironically it was a tough day because it was a good day.

This year we implemented WEB at our school.  WEB stands for Where Everybody Belongs, and it is a program where 8th graders serve as mentors for the incoming 6th graders.  The year is kicked off with a highly energetic assembly that welcomes the 6th graders to their new school.  Highly energetic is actually low-balling it.  It's wild.

My job today was to facilitate the assembly, a task I thoroughly enjoy.  I get to feel like I'm equal parts stand-up comedian, singer, motivational speaker, and, of course, vice principal.  I got up early today, was at school by 6:15 am getting things prepared, and by 8:30 am the assembly had started.  We finished around 11:45 am, and by 12:30 pm I was having lunch with our leadership team and planning our back to school professional development day.  That ended at 1:30 and I worked for a few more hours.  At roughly 5:45 pm I pulled out of the parking lot.

This isn't to complain, by any means.  (Side note, if it was to complain, I'd be switching my bracelet.)  Sure it was a physically tough and exhausting day, but that isn't why I said in the beginning it was a tough day.  It was a tough day because I came home and struggled as a daddy.

My kids are 5, 3, and 1.  They don't care that Daddy spent his morning rallying 320 kids to cheer, dance, laugh, sing, and feel welcomed.  They don't care that Daddy's morning was filled with screaming and clapping and silliness.  And they don't understand that when I came home I just couldn't bear to be around any more noise.  They didn't get my best tonight.  As a matter of fact, they didn't get much at all of me tonight.  I played a little, cuddled a little, but mostly I just sat, and after a while I had to step away because after today the noise was just too loud. 

That may sound cruel.  "What kind of dad is this guy?!"  There's nothing in the world more important to me than my children, and that certainly includes my job.  I just love my kids so much, and I hate that I struggled with them tonight.

But, and this is a very big but...(and I cannot lie),

I'm thankful.  If I have to struggle with my kids once every now and then due to the fact that I have a job that doesn't feel like a job, that's okay.  If a rare struggle as a daddy is a part of getting to wake up every morning and never feel like I'm going to work, that's okay.  If one bad night means that I'm going to come home 100 other nights inspired, thankful, grateful, and enthused because I've got an amazing career, that's okay.  It's okay because when my children visit me at school they get to see Daddy smiling, laughing, and enjoying his job.  

So I guess sometimes tough days are good days.

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